2009: On Becoming a Good Steward...

Date night...and FHE

Saturday Frank and I decided to take a deep breath and then hod it.  We decided to take a date night (evening) and let Jacob babysit Kenzie.  I'm still astounded to think I have a son just ticks away from 12-years old who is responsible enough to tend the homefront while we are away.  And other than a call during the movie to find out where in the refrigerator the calzones I made the day before were, I would call it a success!

Frank and I went to see Terminator and then to dinner.  Terminator rocked if you haven't seen it yet.  Sci-Fi isn't my bag, but I love the Terminator movies, have seen them all, and was a Sarah Connor junkie before they canned it from the air.  I was so ticked when it went away.  :(  The movie was great.  Christian Bale, for all the personal stuff I hear that I don't like, did an excellent job as John Connor and the guy who played the human cyborg...he was intense. 

After the movie, Frank and I had dinner at Q'doba.  It was apparently the same plan everyone had right at 7pm -- the line was crazy long -- but it was worth the wait.  We then sat and chatted for almost 2 hours.  It was wonderful.  We get so busy sometimes that we don't get a lot of "chat" time that doesn't revolve around whatever house issue is happening.  I love that after all these years Frank's still my best friend and I can still chat up a storm with him...so that was great.

Jake did great.  The house was in one piece, Kenzie was evening smiling when we got back home.  Jake asked if we could go out 'later' next time so he could see what late-night babysitting felt like.  Too funny.  I guess this is one area we get to reap the benefits of having a pre-teen.

Last night the Ward did a combined family home evening at Rhyolite park.  A spiritual thought and some watermelon.  It was a nice break in routine to be able to go to a group event and mingle...it was good to see everyone.  One of the things that Frank and I talked about over dinner was getting more consistant with FHE.  Its not our strong suit.  We usually do ours on Sunday because Frank works late on Monday-Thr. but with later afternoon church, we find we enjoy just plain ole family time on Sunday evenings and that's not really cutting it.  Its our job to raise up our kids temporally and spiritually and we're lacking a bit on the spiritual side.  So - back to basics in the Brackney household.

Back from the missing...

The last two days I had the opportunity to revisit girl's camp.  Such an amazing program in our Church. The young women (12-18) all have the opportunity to spend 4-days at camp with others their age learning new skills, leadership and deepening their testimonies.  How I wish I had had something like that in my youth.  I love the YW's program and this camp specifically.  It's one calling I mourned losing.  I was camp director for two summers and I loved it so much both times.  No showers, stinky port-a-potties and all.  The love you feel from the girl's for each other is bursting.  Being there, away from the world, not only strengthens their testimonies, but the leader's as well.

This time I was there on behalf of 'Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep' the photography charity I'm involved with.  The girls sewed blankets as a token to give the families we serve.  I was there to share a few words about the charity and to kick off the sewing.  Even sewed a blanket myself.  Not well, its not my strength, but it was a labor of love.  Denise was the YL/service project coordinator this year so knowing about this organization helped her select it as one to provide service for.  Nice to have friends in high places.

I got up to camp on Wednesday just before dinner and in time for skits and singing trees.  MY FAVORITE of all the activities.  Each Ward's girls gather around a designated tree in the forsest at night and when its their turn, each sister turns on a flashlight, pointing it up the tree, and together they sing a song, usually a hymn of some kind, acapella.  We chose EFY's version of Sisters in Zion.  Love that song arranged that way.  It was beautiful, and heartfelt, and touching.  I cried.  I cry all the time at camp.  My heart is so opened to the Spirit there.  I cry at the flag raising and lowering.  It makes me feel particularly patriotic.  And boy, this time they had some young sisters with beautiful voices sing the National Anthem.  Sheesh.  What talent!  I cry when the gals accomplish what they set out to do...I'm just a bawling mess the whole visit!  :)  But its all good.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  I would take the helm again in a second if asked.  I love those girls.

Denver Botanics

So, yesterday was my first venture to the Denver Botanical Gardens and it was beautiful!  I had an engagement shoot and that's the location they selected.  Though I appreciate that it takes a staff to maintain it, never again will I say, "nothing grows here".  I clearly just haven't put in the effort!  Things grow here, beautiful, colorful things.  It made me want to go home and start planning my garden finally.  And I think I will spend some time this week doing that - and perhaps even planting a little.  I know I can't afford to run out and just throw myself into a huge english garden, but at least now I captured some vision for it.  It'll probably require another trip back just to shoot the plants I really REALLY loved and to get their names, but I have to say...it was stunning.

I am honing in on what I really love shooting.  I love children.  I love newborns with the family.  I love senior photos and I love couples.  Not as much in love with big weddings.  That's a LOT of pressure.  I do however like small, garden weddings.  So, I think those areas will be my focus.  I don't love large groups.  Too much going on.  I don't like sports photography.  At all.  I don't like corporate shoots and I don't like multi-layered assignments.  I want quick and dirty and done.  Its more how my mind works.  But I do love shooting.  And for me, that's amazing.  Meds or no, sticking with something in the long-term has never been my strength, but I can't get enough of behind the lens time. 

I think this week, maybe on Friday, I will take Kenzie out for some photos and Jake another time.  Some one on one time and updated shots will be great.  Its been a while, and I want the record.  I don't want to be the mechanic who lets their own cars slide if you know what I mean.

Safely home...

Seattle was a blast.  It was fun, beautiful, and emotional, all rolled in to one.  I was there to shoot a Naval Commissioning of a young officer on Friday.  I flew in on Thursday and had lunch with one of Frank's college friends, Jerry.  I met Jerry at our wedding with his former wife.  I adored them both right away.  Jerry is just Mr. down to earth.  That hasn't changed one iota in 13 years.  We had a great time.  We ate Thai, which I haven't had since leaving Phoenix seven years ago.  We talked shop as he's a fellow photography enthusiast.  We talked kids (his are 14 and 4...good luck with that, Jer!)...and about how scary it is to have kids go and grow up.  He's facing high school, and we're facing junior high, and neither is as exciting as it is terrifying.  After lunch he took me on a house tour of Seattle.  Seems to be my favorite thing to do when in other cities.  There were some great houses mixed in the "hill" district.  I call it that because, seriously, without at least a v-6 engine, you won't be going up some of those streets.  I really thought I was in San Fran and not Seattle. 

Thursday night I met up with the family...we dined at a local Mexican restaurant on the University of Washington campus.  Such a cool college town.  Beautiful quad.  It reminded me aLOT of University of Illinois.  Dinner was great, laughter was plentiful...afterwards a quick trip to University bookstore and then back to the hotel for some shut eye. 

Friday morning was a gorgeous day in Seattle.  Not a lick of rain while we were there.  Not one drop.  Every morning we woke to gray and overcast but by noon it had all burned away.  The same held true for Friday.  We arrived at the quad early to get good seats.  By early I mean, oh, 2 hours early.  We had GREAT seats, not that I would have the opportunity to use them much... :)  I'm not paid to sit.  The ceremony started right on time and included a full color guard...that was COOL.  Young ROTC cadets who stand holding the US flag, Naval Flag and Washington flag...then they were sworn in.  All 23 ROTC members became official Naval Officers as of that moment.  And I bawled.  I swear I cry at the drop of a hat...but it was really really moving.

From there each individual had a ceremony.  First shoulder boards were replaced (usually by a family member or two), then their hat was changed, they referred to this as uncovering and then covering.  After that, an officer, of their choosing (often times a father), would offer the first salute to the new officer.  This was especially cool.  After the initial sulute the cadet would give the officer who saluted them a silver dollar.  Its a military tradition in all branches.  Very, very cool.  All and all the ceremony lasted about two hours.  It was hot, and sunny, and wonderful.  And I think I cried at some point during every single commissioning.

We had lunch on our own and dinner at a burger joint on the ave. and I have to admit...it was wayyy yummy.  After that the youngin's were going to party a bit and that's not my scene...so back to the room for me and a pleasant night of Lifetime movies and reading.  I was exhausted by Saturday and decided to forego sightseeing before my return flight and I'm honestly glad I did. 

It was a great weekend and then right back to reality with the kiddos!  Which has been fun...today -- we're off to the pool...fun for them...fun for me!

To Seattle I go...

Not thinking it will be much of a change with the amount of rain we've had here lately, but tomorrow I shall see.  I'm off to Seattle to capture a Naval commissioning of officers tomorrow.  I'm so excited and honored all at the same time.  My biggest concern is that I'll cry the whole time and not be able to focus well enough.  I cry at the National Anthem.  I can't imagine not crying watching young men and woman dedicate their lives to our country.  Amazing. 

For today, today I played mom.  Today we woke up, I made crepes, we hung out, took showers, and went to the movies.  The first dip into our summer budget for fun activities.  We saw "Night at the Museum II".  It was good.  I'm still partial to the first one, though.  It was innocent fun and the kids had a great time.  And honey, I even stopped and got $1.00 candy before we went!  You should be proud!

I'm finally pealing from last week's sunburn.  Nasty nasty burn it was.  I'm still having pain...hopefully I'm at the tail end now. 

That's all she wrote for today...not much going on in my world right now.

Lobster red...

Frank used to tease me when we were first married that there was no such color as "red" for a woman.  It had to have some catchy name...fire engine red...or dragon red...something that somehow defined the color more accurately...gave it more "umph" so to speak.  So...Lobster red...that's my new skin color.  Paints a picture for you, doesn't it?  And not like fresh out of the ocean Lobster red, oh no...like steamed and freshly cracked open Lobster tail red...

Like a teenager, I went to the pool the other day with friends.  We had a great time gabbing and swimming and gabbing some more.  But we're a mile closer to the sun, and high noon plus a few hours on either side and well, I'm scorched.  In a way that makes it painful to sit, stand or move my arms...and of course today, I have a photo shoot.  Not complaining about the business...just crying over the things I have to do to make that happen.  I should be wanting to die by the time its almost over.

I don't know what I would do without tylenol and ibuprofin.  Who needs to take those sparingly.  They're all that's getting me through the day right now.

Sometimes I really should keep in mind how old I am... ;)

Continuation...

When I moved from grammar school to junior high there was no celebration.  No pomp.  No circumstance.  My parents were just happy they passed me! :)  But last night was Jacob's continuation.  A celebration of all they've learned and what they'll take with them. 

I have to admit, I'm pretty jaded.  I see things through my old sixth-grade eyes sometimes.  Thinking that all I cared about was getting away...far away...from Ms. Ritchie and Mr. Klein.  I didn't take growth and memories of challenges I'd accepted and passed with support from my fellow students.  I just knew I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore.  And that was enough for me.

Jake and Kenzie have attended Renaissance Elemetary.  Its not near the house.  In fact, it's clear on the other side of town.  They moved to it when it opened in town three years ago.  Jake was in 4th grade and behind a year in reading and writing.  He just wasn't getting it with larger classrooms and regergitation.  He needed to be more hands on, more challenged, more responsible for his learning.  And that's what REMS is.  It's based on the Outward Bound program.  Everything is an expedition.  Even last night.

There was dinner with families which was fun.  It was catered by Rubios and I need to find out where they are.  Excellent Mexican food fare.  We sat with Eyan's family and the Worker's (our neighbors whose son also attends) and enjoyed conversation.  When it was done and tables and chairs were cleaned and put away (the stewardship portion of the evening) the kids went to their drumming circle.

The first year they were opened, Renaissance had the kids (and family members who wanted to) make drums.  Big old bongo style drum (single drum though).  They tie-died the skin and put their hand prints on the base.  They've had regular drumming activities through the years.  I, again being my jaded self, thought, seriously?  What does this have to do with continuation?  But to see them all beating, some in different patterns (according to what Ms. Marissa, the music teacher, directed), it was almost spiritual.  They were so focused and the beat so strong. 

When it was over, Ms. Deborah, the principal, spoke for a bit and shared what the drumming was about.  The unity, they togetherness.  Now we're talking...

From there we broke into small groups where each child shared a positive thought about another as their certificates were handed out.  They also shared what they would be taking with them and received an outward bound pin.  Jake shared he would take an understanding of perserverance with him.  This year he managed to climb the "firecracker".  P.E. at Renaissance is also based on outward bound.  Not just a rock wall, but an entire gym of climbing apperatice that almost all reach the very, very high ceiling.  In his three years at REMS, Jacob has successfully climbed, and mastererd, all of the apperatice.  Many times with his fellow students chearing him on.  He finished the Firecracker this year and has more pride for sticking with it than I can sum in words.  I love that he has this to carry with him.  It's why we sent him here.

He leaves on target for reading and writing, for math and science.  He leaves a more mature version of himself.  He takes responsibility and pride for his learning and admits when he doesn't do well because he decided not to.  Lessons some never learn.  I can't wait to see how that helps him in his new adventure, junior high!  Eeeeek.

On being "free"...

It occurred to me I haven't posted anything about being free from corporate since my departure.  Probably because its still sinking in!  Its delightful.  I've caught up on household things the last few days and have a long line of other things still left to do.  Since its been raining non-stop until this morning I haven't ventured out much other than a bike ride, a trip to Target, and a visit with Mel. 

Today I meet with Bill and Laura.  Two attorneys I will contract with to provide admin and investigative support to.  Not a big chunk of time, but nice extra $$ coming in during this economy.  It will be nice to have.  And I really like them both.  So - it'll be nice all around. 

Bill's an interesting guy.  Smart as all get out.  Cynical like no other.  Laura is smart as well, and sharp, and fascinating to watch as she finds her defense strategy.  They are similar and different.  Bill is an entrapenuer...mind always on the next thing.  Laura is much more systematic and being a P.C. for her is a really new identity, one I don't think she's ever imagined, but one she's beginning to embrace.  I'm definately more like Bill but I'm learning to be a little more like Laura.

One other blessing is being here to send my kiddos off to school.  Which its now time for! 

Focus...

though I'm so much more focused these days I still find myself forgetting the silliest things.  Yesterday, I ran to target to get Kenzie a few tennis outfits and a racket.  Which would she need more to play...exactly...apparently the outfits because I managed to buy her two and forgot about the racket entirely.  What's worse is I actually went down the sports isle to buy myself a few dumbbells.  Right.  I was right there and still, it didn't register with me at all!

Now, that's not to complain.  I love how focused I am now with the tasks at hand.  I don't even desire to load myself down with five or six projects at one time.  I'm pretty content finishing one at a time through and through.  But when I can't get every piece put together...that gets just a tiny bit frustrating...like now...I have to make a second run back to Target today...not that she's going to get to play this week with all the rain...but if I don't do it now while I'm thinking of it...she'll be learning hand ball rather than tennis!