2009: On Becoming a Good Steward...

on presents...

2 posts in a day -- clearly I need to be out more! :)  I wanted to capture this before the season was gone and life rolled by...

in the last few weeks I've received two really thoughtful gifts from two very different people.  I've mentioned before I'm a "gift" girl...love to give and receive gifts.  Like one day my hubby left for work or where ever and I was lolly-gagging around the house.  All day.  I didn't shower until like 2pm.  And when I finally managed to head off to do so, taped to my mirror was a Chocolate Lara bar and a card.  A Lara Bar?  What kind of gift is that?  :)  The most thoughtful kind.  I can't eat Hershey bars b/c of the dairy allergy, but Lara bars are natural, and the chocolate one is made from cocoa - how sweet is he to think of something like that? 

About two years ago I was asked to teach or make something, I can't remember, for our Friday Craft Frenzy at church.  Nikki was in charge and is quite the creative woman herself.  I told her I would if she would teach me how to make a Cornicopia.  I've just always wanted one.  My mom had one and it sat on our table from November 1st until the Christmas decorations went up every year.  Over the years I'm sure it got old, and dusty and fell apart b/c when she passed away I looked for it in the boxes and boxes of her things -- it was never to be found.  And though I've thought about it many times, I've never gotten around to buying one.  Seems so indulgent sometimes to buy those simple wants v. needs.  Anyway.  A week or so ago, Robin called and asked if she could come by to drop off a gift.  She was present when I had that conversation with Nikki -- two years ago -- and it stuck with her.  She bought the supplies and arranged it herself.  And its lovely.  Even Frank noticed ... and it goes with my other fall decor.  Not that I have much.  Post-season I'm buying everything on sale this year...no matter how self-indulgent that feels.

And then last night.  Alison brought me the most lovely basket of Vegan goodie along with a wonderful card.  A heartfelt thank you to Frank for helping them so much with their computer "stuff" and me for reaching out to Ali when she was sick recently.  The note was wonderful.  I've read it several times yesterday and today.  And since I'm officially so so so over meat eating (I have been indulging a little over the last few weeks working up to Thanksgiving.  And you know what?  It was a let down.  I mean the meal was wonderful.  Turkey tender and juicy as I remembered it with a little pre-brining and slow cooking over the entire day, but eh.  Just eh.  I don't miss it all that much and I feel much better when I abstain.  So back to that starting today) it was just the ticket to getting back on the wagon again!  Its filled with all sorts of goodies...pastas and grains and lentils and jams and salsas...most of those are homemade and canned!  YUMMMY.  And the basket -- so me! 

I'm thankful for people who put into action how they feel about others.  Not always through gifts, but acts of service and the like.  Its what I love most about this time of year.  Others tend to reach out more to others.  And that warms my heart...just like looking at these gifts does everytime I walk in the room!

Shay

on fasting...

Today I am fasting.  Its not "fast Sunday" (the Church generally recognizes the first Sunday of the month as a time for prayer and Testimony), but there's power in fasting whenever its done.  Today I fast as a friend AND as a Missionary.  We have friends who are really struggling with major life things right now.  Finances, which so many can relate to, and spritual decisions.  Many of my friends are fasting in their behalf today.  I know they will feel the hug of the Spirit around them today as they continue in their prayers which are now joined by so many.  And I hope they find the answers they need to fill their hearts, to shelter their family. 

One of my favorite songs is by Hilary Weeks.  I wish I had permission to have it attached to my blog.  She's amazing.  I just can't get one of her songs out of my mind today..."I said a prayer"...sometimes, prayer is all we have to offer...I can't fix what my friends are struggling with, either temporally or spiritually, but I can pray in their behalf.  Its hard for me sometimes to remember that is enough.  More than enough sometimes.  I know today is one of those days.

The snow from yesterday has continued...and Kenzie was having a day today.  Not enough sleep, and well, she's all girl.  So - she needed to rest and enjoy a mental health day.  So I caved.  Together we'll stay warm here at home and enjoy each other's company.  And hopefully that's all it is...over tired...I don't think I can handle sick again so soon this season!

~Shay

Fresh snow and a personal endeavor...

Of course the morning I have the largest photo opportunity thus far, it snows...fortunately it stopped after a few inches and its white and beautiful and will make for pretty pix.  My friend had her husband's family in for the holiday -- all toll - 27 people.  Not sure how you pose 27 people but I've been sketchin it out for about a week now - but I never put snow into the equation.  Sitting and laying...well, not much of an option.  I'm sure they didn't bring snow pants in anticipation and there are some wee little ones.  Its flat light out right now which is prime photo light...just don't know how the small kids will do in 28 -- or really how the big kids will do -- we as adults seem to have less tolerance for discomfort the older we get it seems! :)  I'll let you know how that turns out.

Two Sunday's ago, during my last RS lesson I challenged the Sisters to gain knowledge of one new thing in the temporal arena, the spiritual arena and to discover a quality they want to acquire and find someone who has that quality and find a way to observe them or spend time with them.  I didn't realize it wouldn't get to follow up with them formally.

I have always been a teacher who would not issue a challenge I, myself, wouldn't be willing to participate in.  So, mid-way through, how am I doing?  And what did I pursue?

Spiritually - still deep in study over 1Chr 4:9-10.  Its a simple scripture really, but amazing when put into practice:

And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.

(Enlarging our coasts = increase my responsibilities / stretch my knowledge and my talents.)  I just found I was becoming complacent.  Pride aside, I have been blessed with many talents and was fortunate enough to have a father who held a high bar on discovering those talents and learning not by observing, but by participating.  He wanted to teach me to paint.  He didn't have me watch, he dragged me to side jobs on Saturdays and put a brush in my hand.  He wanted me to understand color so he sat and mixed paints with me until I understood the paint wheel.  And I've lived my life jumping in (occassionally at my peril) to learn things first hand.

But the last few years I've been coasting.  Resting on my most developed talents, painting, teaching, writing...all which gain me compliments each time I use them.  And though I think I lean to humble in those areas, the last several months I've noticed a little swelling in my spirit when I've received compliments.  The opposite of humble.  I realized I was thinking those talents were MY talents.  That I am the one who developed them and right, I am pretty darn good at those things.  That's the brink of trouble.  That's when the Adversary has his biggest opportunity...at least for me, I have learned.  Pride.  My own personal #1 deadly sin.  Another reason I am thankful for the Gospel.  Truly.  I have learned over the years to not only recognize His influence but to do something about the situation before it gets out of control.  For me, the prayer of Jabez has started to turn things around.

I have come to understand that simple prayer, when put into action, requires me to ask the Lord to expand my talents and my opportunities to a point where I know there would be absolutely NO WAY in the world those talents or opportunities were of little ol' me.  That I would be made absolutely aware that whatever came my way would be for no other way than through the hand of the Lord.  And I would be made humble through my acknowledgement of it. 

And so, I asked the Lord to exand my coast; to grant me talents and opportunities to use those newer talents to the good of others.  I was on my knees with my eyes tightly closed with all the sincerity of the world in my heart.  And go figure.  He responded.  He called me the very Sunday I had been preparing this very lesson for to be a Ward Missionary.  Talk about expanding my talents.  It requires a whole new level of conscious prayer to be guided to those seeking to learn of Christ and a whole new level of patience for the different journeys each person takes to finding Him.  This is DEFINITELY not going to be on my time table...and I'm not the world's most patient person...

Prayer is a powerful thing.  And when our timing meets the Lord's timing, it is amazing.  Like in this instance in my life.  I asked, I was sincere, and I have to say, only a little shocked at how it was answered.  Not in how, but in how fast.  And only with His help will I see it to fruition...which was the point in the first place, right?

Temporal knowledge - I was going to work on knitting -- I know -- those who have known me for decades wouldn't peg me for someone who wants to knit...and I have really procrastinated on this one...until the other day -- when I realized there was something I wanted to learn about more than knit one, pearl one...

The other day I was at Dee's and Lexi started playing a rough version of a song on the piano and I {gasped}.  "That's Canon!"  And went to see what was what.  And there it was...the sheet music. 

Now, I am self-taught on the keyboard.  I played organ as a child (praying our chorester from Church doesn't read this :) ).  I'm not terrible.  I can read music.  And Dee worked with me for a short while to learn the left hand (in Organ its all about chords so, like having webbed fingers, it has taken a bit for my brain to wrap around my left hand fingers doing independent work) some time back.  Anyway, I walked down the isle to meet Frank on our wedding day to this piece of music.  I've always wanted to learn to play it on piano.  Heck, lets start with the basics...I've always wanted a piano in my home.  But for now the keyboard will do. 

I plunked at the piano (conveniently while dishes were being done post-Turkey day meal...my bad) for about an hour and realized her version was SO simplified that it was missing the BEST part...the fast part.  The part that makes it Canon.  So, yesterday, I searched and searched until I found sheet music simple enough to offer me a challenge without blowing my mind to frustration, while containing all the parts of the music.  Voila.  I found it (and shared it with Lex) and worked on it yesterday -- for three hours.  And I have to say -- its coming along.  By New Year's day my goal is to play it smoothly and from memory (one of those talents I already have been graced with) so I'm not having to turn pages.  And while I'm doing that - I'm in search of a piano.  That's it...space or no space...I want one in my home.

Quality: Grace.  Graciousness.  That is the quality I want to acquire.  I'm kind of like a bull in a china shop.  Not terribly refined.  My speak is honest, less brutal than it once was, but Chicago all the same.  Not gracious.  There is a gal at work, Louann, and I have chosen to observe her and get to know her just a little better.  She is graceful and gracious.  When people describe her they use words that equal refinement, grace, kindness...and she's still direct, and honest, and herself.  But what she says is always delivered with an air of grace.  And I want that.  I want a little more refinement.  So, hopefully she won't feel too creeped out -- like eyes are suddenly all on her! :)  But they will be...for a bit longer anyhow!

And that is that.  I have my photo shoot at 10a -- providing this dumb sun doesn't ruin the show and melt all our beautiful powder snow!  Wish me luck.  And I hope you are all enjoying your extended weekend...and that maybe you will venture to increase your coasts as well this coming holiday season! 

~Shay

Happy Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving 2008...where has the time gone?  Just keeps rolling along...especially when you have a year jam-packed of happenings!  Not quite time for my year-in-review post, but I do have many, many things to be thankful for this year...

• FAMILY - I have a wonderful husband who works hard to provide for our family and works equally as hard to keep us all sane and happy!  He's tender and encouraging.  He's my very best friend.  My kids are amazing.  Jacob is tender and smart and FUN-NY!  McKenzie is soft and tender and loving...beautiful inside and out...
  

• SPIRITUAL - So many amazing blessings this year.  Frank finding his personal Testimony of Christ and being baptized in March, McKenzie's baptism in April (performed by her daddy), the strengthening of my own Testimony, the opportunity to serve in RS as a teacher from which I learned so much, getting what I asked for (by studying out the Prayer of Jabez, my coast has most definately been increased through the opportunity to serve as a Missionary), a Ward I love, and the Priesthood in my home.

• FRIENDS - I am especially thankful for good friends this year.  Rachel, my go-to girl for everything from motherhood to photography and anything in between.  Denise who is like the mirror image of me in all ways -- we keep each other balanced while laughing all along.  Cal who has been such a great friend to Frank (and me)...one of the funniest men I know.  Brett who's simple words came at an important time -- he has no idea the impact...newer friends, like Kelly who reminded me at a crucial time to not sweat the small stuff, that as long as the center is Christ and family, the rest work itself out or not...its all good.  Alana for being the catalyst to lifting a burden I'd carried for far too long, and Robin for being brave and moving forward.  Jaime for 100% who she is -- gotta love that in a friend!

• PASSION - 

finding my art.  The way to express myself and serve others.  Doing what I love and making money while doing it.  The people I've met and made smile along the way!  This has been such a year of learning.  I'm excited to see what the next year will bring!  And the blessings I have had in pursuing and increasing this talent.

Today will be a day to celebrate with friends.  We're eating at Dee's and the Sheeder's are joining us.  I look forward to spending an evening of fun and friendship and celebration of our many blessings throughout the year.  And yes, this once, I'm going to enjoy a little turkey.  Can't get much more "sparingly" than that.

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and all joy in reviewing your blessings from this year!

Its Friday! Kind of...

So - the last day of the "work" week is today in our office.  Could I be happier...I think not! :)  So relieved.  Days get longer by the minute...I tell ya.

Its been an eventful week at the Brackney household!  Sunday was busy for a Sabbath.  Up to get ready for Church, attend Church where we were issued our new callings of Ward Missionaries!  I am so humbled by all the gals who came up to me sharing their disappointment at my release from Relief Society.  I loved that calling and feel privileged to have held it.  I also feel blessed that my new calling keeps me in RS 3rd hour.  Not all do!  It'll be nice to sit and absorb...better yet, introduce others to my love of the organization!

During second hour, Frank was ordained an Elder in the Church.  It was amazing.  Full on Priesthood in our home.  Something I have drempt of and prayed for for a decade now.  Hardly feels real.  Cal gave the Ordinance and Bishlop, Jim Westbrook, Ted Kendall, Lloyd Clark, and Kasen all joined in.  It was a great, great day.

From there we raced home, ate (inhaled) and ran back to the Church for Tithing Settlement and then straight from their over to Brother Perkins house for orientation as a WMissionary.  Which was interesting.  More thoughts on that later. 

Finally we could come home and relax for a short while.  Cal came over later with our friend Mike Bahr to give Frank a blessing regarding his surgery on Monday.  He (Frank) got to give his first blessing - to consecrate the oil he will use in future blessings...very very cool. 

Cal and Dee hung out for a while - we have so much fun together!  Cal is hilarious.  Just fall off the couch kind of funny sometimes.  And Dee is one in a million as far as girlfriends go. 

Monday morning it was rise early and out the door to the oral surgeon.  Dr. Stone.  He is the nicest guy.  Which is good, considering the line of work he's in.  Ack.  Frank was in, asleep, and done in about an hour.  He broke a took when he was young, (Rachel, you can stop reading now... ;) ), he had a root canal, and a cap put on what was left.  20 + years later, the took has been infected, but without a root there's no pain, so who knows how long that's been going on...long enough to eat away at the bone.  No more bone.  Seriously, his xrays were bone space bone around that tooth.  Bizarre.  And how our last dentist, who so took full xrays missed this is a wonder to me!?  So thankful for Dr. Sibo.  Who, mind you, on her day off (Monday) came in to the surgeon's office to watch the surgery and take her own pictures.  Amazing.  She's such a good egg!

There wasn't any bone so they grafted and that has to set for a few months, then they can add a post for the permanent implant.  None too fun or exciting.  But he's in good hands and has done well post-procedure.  He barely swelled after the initial impact and has not experienced a terrible amount of pain.  I'm hoping that he will heal quickly so we can move the process along!

Other than that - tying up loose photo ends and reading an interesting book given to me by a new friend, about the Word of Wisdom and Vegetarian lifestyle...hmmmm....food for thought and totally in line with what I've come to know is true this year.

Happy & Safe Holidays!

Miss my milk...

So, not one to complain about things I can't change...but I really miss dairy today.  I don't know why today, but today I do.  Probably b/c I'm sick and all the good comfort foods that I really REALLY love contain milk. 

Oh sure, when people tell me how sorry they are I shrug it off in no uncertain terms, "its not that bad..." I tell them sharing with them the merits of soy and the like...but c'mon we all know soy is not dairy and sometimes, sometimes there's just nothing like the real thing.

Just needed to say it "outloud" I guess...and time to move on again.  For whatever reason...its just not in the cards for me.  :(

~ S

Humble pie...

So - yesterday was a good lesson for me.  Until we truly, openly ask for confirmation we're just well, wingin' it.  I was so sure that I would humble myself in my new calling and still maintain the "old" calling.  However, I received a different, but definitive answer last night in the Temple.  Wow...with clarity I've only experienced a handful of times over the last decade.  I am supposed to be released from my calling in RS.  No uncertain terms, no hemmin' or hawin'; released.  Period. 

I gained clarity into why I was called, and really how my last well, 20 years or so has prepared me for my new calling.  And how Frank and I together, with our different stories will be such a compliment together in our new calling. 

And for the peace I am feeling, and felt in the end, I am so thankful for.  If it were appropriate to jump up and down and shout out loud in the Temple, I would have made quite a scene.  Instead, I shared what I had come to learn with Denise.  As we sat on the couch together enjoying the peace and quiet I wispered all that I had experienced over the last 90 minutes or so.  So glad I went and that I came out resolved.  I can now move forward into my new calling with a clear conscience, an open heart, and a willing spirit!  Let the work begin!

~S

Spiritual dilemma...

So, growing up mostly in the Luthern faith sometimes you were asked to serve in some capacity to help out in the church, and sometimes you let the pastor know where you felt you could be of use.  In our Church callings are extended.  Generally speaking they are extended prayerfully and through inspiration the Bishop is granted by his calling over the Ward.  I have absolute faith in that process.  Left to me I know that I would have missed out on much growth over the years because as humans we tend to go where our comfort zone takes us.  Following that lead I would have exclusively served in our Relief Society for the last decade.  (RS is the adult female organization of the Church).  

Everything in my background prepared me for that.  My career path led me to adult education.  I trained nurses and medical personnel around the world.  I connect with adults and women specifically.  However, if the Church used that approach I would have never had the opportunity to serve in Young Woman's (the female leg of youth group) and thereby missed out on feeling the pure love a teen can show for an adult who takes an active interest in their lives.  I loved working with the Youth.  I still get hugs from them when I see them in the halls at Church.  I still feel compelled to offer a hug when I see them first.  I learned so much about myself through them.  And, truthfully, healed a part of my heart that had been damaged in my own youth through my experience in working with them.  And I know without a shadow of a doubt that if left to me, the thought to serve the youth would have never entered my mind. 

So, suffice to say, I know the way things occur in the Church are ordained and inspired of Heavenly Father, which is why I'm in such a pickle this morning.

Last night, Frank and I were at the Church for our regular Tuesday night activities with our kids.  Kenzie and the Activity Day's girls had a father/daughter cake contest (which had a fabulous turn out!).  I don't normally have reason to be at the Church on Tuesdays but for some reason I felt compelled to go and take photos for the primary girls.  And after the presentations and photos I thought, huh, I should go home.  So, I left and got as far as the foyer where some of my friends were sitting.  So, of course, I couldn't resist the desire to sit and gab...

Out came the Bishop from his office (they hold "office hours" on Tuesdays) and when he saw me he lit up.  "Is Frank here?"  "Yep, he sure is."  "Great...I need to talk to you both, can you stay."

Now, Frank, being a recent convert to the Church, is due for a new calling.  Often husbands and wives come together even when the calling is being extended to only one of the couple.  Which, of course, since I've only recently been extended a call as a teacher in RS myself, was sure this was going to be for Frank.  Not so much.  We were extended a joint calling.  One that with a little distance, I know is where I am to serve right now.  But that wasn't my first instinct.

Man, I really see just how much a child I am in Heavenly Father's eyes.  And the love he has for me.  You know when you tell your kid to do something, a chore prehaps, and their first instinct is to whine?  And then (hopefully) they do it, and the whining stops and you know, whether they say it or not, they feel better that they were obedient and they can go on about their day with a clear conscious?  Well -- that's exactly what happened last night.

My first reaction was, "of course I'll serve where I am called, but does that mean I have to be released from RS as a teacher?"  I could tell that Bishop had not even entertained the idea of keeping me in the calling simultaneously.  I was so near tears.  I feel so strongly about that calling.  Not from a place of pride, oh I'm such a great teacher, far from it.  I have learned so much...and felt the love of the Sisters in my Ward, which really, I don't know that I have ever really felt.  I've always seen myself in the sense of being a sister as this loud, funny woman who is good for bringing humor to a girl's night out, but no one picks up the phone to do things one on one; and that's okay -- I'm not one who needs many close friends.  But for the first time in a long time, I really feel connected to these woman and their love for my willingness to get up once a month and fumble through my lesson in a way that teaches me humility in addition to what I've learned from the topic at hand.

So - what to do.  Well, Denise and I are going to the Temple later this afternoon when Frank can be home with the kiddos.  I'm going to get my own confirmation of the calling at hand.  I know so many of the lessons in my life have been set up to teach me obedience.  I'm so weak in that area.  And I have a Heavenly Father who knows me and for sure knows that about me, and lovingly gives me many, many opportunities to get better at that part.  Sometimes I am just resistant to the delivery method of the learning opportunities as they are presented.  And therein, lies my answer I think.  Hate when that happens.

~S

Happy "Monday"...

for me atleast.  Not too bad coming in to the office today -- and my main guy is otherwise occupied most of this week, so it shouldn't be too difficult to catch up.  The gal who covers my desk, Erin, took the brunt of "stuff" yesterday, which I am really thankful for. 

I am realizing I am feeling a little bah humbuggy this season.  I think with the kiddos getting older, and more focused on keeping finances in check, I'm just not anticipating this year like I normally do.  Then again it could be the fact that today, November 18th, its slated to be 79 degrees in DENVER.  Are you kidding me? 

Yesterday I had the opportunity to enjoy lunch with a friend in neighborhood.  Never spent time with her before.  I had the best time.  We talked and laughed and lunched and it was great.  I really really needed a break from my hectic life of lately.  So I'm thankful for my new friend.

Shay

Up wayyyy too late...

It's a little after 2am -- why am I still up?  Its the first time in a LONG time I've been able to watch TV with a clear conscience -- pretty much all my photo editing projects are finished and out the door...can I tell you how happy that makes me.  I haven't worked less than 6 days a week, sometimes 7 since the end of August.  Now, no complaints.  I feel incredibly blessed to have had a great first season, but wow, a little down time is wayyyy welcome. 

Today (yesterday, I guess) was Sunday.  Great talks by new members of our Ward, the Smith's.  I've had a chance to get to know Laury and one of her daughters, Lacey, a bit as of late.  I really like her.  Down to earth and really in touch with the Spirit in her teaching.  I was happy to be there to hear it. 

2nd hour (bible study basically) we were in need of a teacher.  I have been attending Gospel Essentials as Frank is still learning the basics.  It was a hard decision for me because I think our Gospel Doctrines teacher is about the best I've had in the last decade.  But, I wanted to share in Frank's journey.  Turns out...its been a great reinforcement to me, and hey, I've learned a thing or two.  Anyway -- with no lesson and no teacher, my friend Chris jumped to teach the class.  She's really amazing.  Teachers our Seminary M-F at 6:15 every morning.  (Seminary is a religious studies class our high school students attend all 4 years to strengthen their gospel knowledge).  She taught on the Prodical son (found in Luke 15)...she was rivetting.  Teaching 17-year-olds has expanded the tools she uses to get her lessons across...she illustrated the whole thing...and clarified from a historical perspective so many things in such a simple parable.  It was really great.

3rd hour, well, today, that was me.  Marla who is in charge of our music appreciation portion of Relief Society asked me if I'd sign a hymn today.  Sometimes, I'm ashamed to admit, I forget I can do that.  Its just not something I get called on to use very often anymore.  But I was so appreciative for the opportunity to share that talent.  I have such a love for the deaf community and the beauty of their language and their culture.  It reminds me of so many wonderful people who I have had the opportunity to know and come in to contact with through signing throughout my life. 

The lesson today was on gaining knowledge.  Specifically spiritual knowledge, but I believe temporal knowledge as well.  They go hand in hand.  I know that through learning sign (temporal) I have grown spiritually.  There's something so pure in the movement of the language; from the signs to the body language.  Total peace.  When I feel peace, I know that is the Spirit..so it all comes full circle. 

This lesson reminded me that we are all teachers and all students.  You never know who is watching you and your actions.  And it reminded me to get back to being an observer.  I challenged the class to make note of one temporal, and one spiritual, thing they wanted to learn more about in the next 30 days.  And I challenged them to think about a quality they want to obtain and then to find someone with that quality to spend a little time with -- because in the end, I believe we are most like the 5 people we are with most often.  For good or not so good.  So - here it is.  My temporal taks: learn to knit so I can teach Kenzie (she's dying to learn).  My spiritual task: right now I am working with the principles found in the "prayer of Jabez"...I will continue to reach out to Heavenly Father first in gratitude, and then to ask for more responsibility so that I will feel his hand more often in my life and to use that for the good of others.

The quality I want to gain is, well, discipline.  Probably means some one on one time with my friend Chris.  I've come a long way in the area of discipline.  But, still, so not natural to me.  And I need more of it.  Not to live my life by it; the artist side of me shivers at the thought; but discipline can give way to balance, and that I need a little more of...

K - off to bed...lots of plans (lunch with a girlfriend - but exercise first) tomorrow and I have a feeling I'll be running a bit on empty being up so late.

~ S